Why taking away a cutters tool might be the worse thing to do

I think one of the hardest things about the subject of cutting is what to do with the information. When a person finds out that someone they love is a cutter there is a wave of emotions that runs through them that they don't know what to do with. As someone who was on the other side of the issue I never truly understood how hard it was for people that I loved. After my book was published I began to meet people who shared their story of dealing with a cutting in their life. I started to understand how their struggle was just as important as mine. I never imagined that just as much as I was struggling in my journey there were people in my life struggling with how to address the topic and help me. And one of the biggest problems I continued to hear is what to do when it comes to the actual tools that a cutter uses.

One of the biggest mistakes I've seen people make is trying to take away the objects that the cutter uses. The logic being, if I take away the tools then I am helping that person by taking away the temptation. But this is as effective as dumping the booze down the drain in an effort to help an alcoholic, and what makes matters worse is that it can actually do more damage. Cutters use cutting as a means for coping through difficult situations that happen in their daily life, it becomes apart of their routine and is a source of comfort for them.  By taking away the tools you have interrupted that routine and can cause them to become desperate and lead them to look for other ways to cut that often times are more dangerous because they are less convenient.  For example they may look to cutting themselves with the lid of a can that could be dirty or even rusty instead of using a clean razor blade.

This may sounds crazy and possibly even enabling, but trust me it is one of the most important things to understand when dealing with someone who is a cutter. Instead of cleaning house and trying to take away the methods for the cutter to use to self-harm it is important to try and address the reasons for the cutting. Try and support the cutter by talking with them. Letting them know that you are there for them without putting up conditions to that love and support. That is one of the single most positive things that you can do for that individual. Also don't try and force professional help on them if the aren't ready for it, this will only cause them to push away even more. Instead look for ways for you to support them that help them make better choices for themselves, understanding that until a cutter is ready to take those steps themselves real change will not take place.  Remember there is no exact formula when it comes to helping people just remember to never give up on them and don't allow them to give up on themselves.